>Dilbertisms
>these are quotes from some real life Dilbert-type managers
"What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
"This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (No source given)
"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
"My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected." (CIO of Dell Computers)
"Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)
We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
>Hypocrisy
>Hypocrisy is homage paid by vice to virtue.
POLITENESS, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity
Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins.
Hypocrite: Someone who complains that there is too much sex and violence on his VCR.
A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo"
>ads that stop me from using the remote :D
>last night on NDTV Profit there was this program "All abt ads" .. a nice program ... and from which i remebered some of the good ads that are going on these days
Nokia color: .. now this is a pretty goodo one .. made in india .. for india .. good beats/music , camera work , story line .. makes the point :)
Indian airlines not really going on these days .. but it still is one really good one.. and i still remember it .. and have it on my disk :)
Met Life .. nice cute one .. simple but effective :)
Sumo Victa the one that made me think of this post :) (made by piyush pandey).. just read the sher in that Ad
Shan emandari ki...chehre pe sajate hain.
Asmaano ko chune ka hosala hai...fir bhi panv zameen par tikate hain.
Anjaan nahin hai duniyadari se...firr bhi dil ki sunte sunate hain.
Log jo usulon ko sar par...aur jazbaathon ko apne dil pe rakhte hain.
Zindagi ki rahon mein zimidarian to aati hain..bas kuch hi log unhe nibha jaate hain.
any idea who wrote this ??
and then there is this motorcycle ad (dont really remember which bike) MAK Lubricant Ad (updated after some help from the readers .. :) ).. not really a brillant one .. but running on channels .. the one in which a girl is standing/waiting ... and why am i mentioning it here ... cos of the song that plays in the background "jawaani jaaneman.. haseen dilruba" one of the song that made parveen babi so famous .. playing now after her death .. dont know why but now whenever it comes up on a channel it feels weird .. wonder ??
>IF
>If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog. !!
>stupid question .. and some smart answers !!
>He : May I hold your hand???
She: No thanks, it isn't heavy.
She: Say you love me! Say you love me!
He : You love me...
She: If we become engaged will you give me a ring???
He : Sure, what's your phone number???
She: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
He : Don't you ever want to improve???
He : I love you and I could die for you!
She: How soon???
He : I would go to the end of the world for you!
She: Yes, but would you stay there???
She: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
He : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
She: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think???
He : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.