>Learings From Homer Simpson
>When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.
If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.
You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.
You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.
You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.
There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.
I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.
Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.
Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.